If I Had a Hammer

Hello all,
Sorry I have been away for so long. Leigh and I have been discussing wedding plans. I didn't realize that weddings take so long to plan. I am so glad I am not royalty. I've been seeing on the TV this Will and Kate wedding hoop-la. I am so glad that Leigh and I will be able to have a simple wedding. I am sitting here thawing out. Our people had their door fixed today. The guy had the door open for several hours and my nook is on the same wall as the door. What does a gnome have to do to get a little heat around here? I was watching as this guy installed the door. He was really quite good. If I had been made with a hammer in my hand, I think that I would like to do some type of carpentry/repair work. I could have made little chairs, tables, beds, etc. I would have had a lucrative business, because who wouldn't want to buy a piece of furniture from a gnome? Then maybe I could have been knighted by the queen (for she is a slight person and would probably enjoy a tiny chair, table, and bed). Oh, but there I go letting my dreams get ahead of me. I am proud to have my book and my thumb-up. Besides, Leigh says she prefers the scholarly type to the burly type. Man, I am a lucky gnome. Remember, "To do big tasks you can only take one small step at a time." Ta-Ta for now!

Out of the Rubble...A New Joy

Hello all,
I hope that you are having a fantastic day. I know that I am! After the horribly terrifying events that occurred at our people's house the other day, I felt very shaken. After posting my blog, I started thinking about what I would miss the most had my tiny life come to an end. Sure I would miss my cozy and entertaining nook. My people, who treat me as an equal, would also be missed. The one thing, however, that my mind kept coming back to was Leigh. I know that she has only been my nook-mate for a little while, but she has become family to me. We have bonded through our extensive conversations and I would have jumped in front of her, had the robbers decided to harm her in any way. So I fashioned a ring of flowers. In the gnome world, this is the equivalent of an engagement ring. That's right ladies...this gnome has taken himself off the market. I nervously waited for our people to get home this evening. When they did, I pulled out the ring of yellow flowers (to match her Saints colors) and asked her to be my bride. She said, "Yes...I thought you would never ask!" After placing the ring on her hat, we shared a short nose rub. Our people are so happy. After a toast to our future, plans started being made. I heard something about the Botanic Gardens in June. Traditionally, gnomes get married under their "tree." When a male gnome is born, a tree is planted. He then get married under his tree. I was made in a warehouse somewhere, so I have no tree. When we go to the Botanic Gardens in the next few weeks, I will locate a tree and Leigh and I will make it our own. I am so grateful that some good was able to come out of such a vile event. I am a very happy gnome. Ta, Ta for now.

Will she say, "Yes?"

She said, "Yes!"

What a beautiful soon-to-be-bride!

A toast to our future

Catching a quick nose rub.

The Silent Witness

Hello all,
I am writing to you a little shaken up right now. Today, Leigh and I were hanging out and doing our typical routine. Suddenly we heard a loud, crashing sound and we weren't sure what was happening. Apparently some guys decided that they wanted to break into our people's house. After kicking in the front door, they proceeded to run around the house, ransacking the rooms in the back. They pulled out drawers, opened closets, stole Jennifer's jewelry, and the coins out of the coin jar. They also stole a pillow case and a pillow...the pillow case I understand, but the pillow...what is the deal with that. They then came out into the living room and pulled the TV out of the nook. I think that my cold, hard stare scared them because they left the TV by the door and ran out. Leigh and I were just left helpless to do anything. When Jennifer arrived home she did her normal routine. She came in, took care of some business, and was coming out to start dinner. I wanted to scream for her to realize what had happened. When she noticed that the TV had been removed, she took off out of the house. When she returned with the police, the first thing she checked was that Leigh and I were safe. I appreciated that, although she could have taken us when she fled the house. She even showed us to the police. I could have so been a witness, but who would have listened to a gnome. Plans are being made to turn this house into a robbers worst nightmare. I am just glad that my people are safe and that Leigh and I made it through this experience. I think it is time to add that 3rd tape to my tape lifting regiment. I need to bulk up like Rambo so that I can protect the house, my people, and Leigh in case anyone decides to come in here again. My people were watching Le Miserables in concert this weekend. Something from that stuck with me. "And little people know, when little people fight we may look easy pickings, but we've got some bite. So never kick a dog because he's just a pup. We'll fight like twenty armies and we won't give up. So you'd better run for cover when the pup grows up!" Putting on my fight face. Ta, Ta for now.

The Great Search for the Hat

Hello all. I hope that you have had a great week. Leigh and I are getting along smashingly. She likes the fact that my hat is broken...she thinks it adds character. I'm not sure if it is a sense of guilt, or just something to do, but my people are obsessed with finding me a replacement hat. When we go places, they are always puting these ridiculously oversized hats on my head, and then they are amazed that they don't look right. I have a tiny head, I am a tiny gnome....these facts seem to escape them at times. We did actually find a hat that fit at Mardi Gras in New Orleans this past year. One of our stops was at the mask extravaganza that was happening in the French Market. Besides masks, there were also other things, such as hats. After them putting some masks on me, and of course a too large hat (because that is what they do) we came across a vendor who was selling tiny hats. The hats were made to be pinned on the side of a person's head. It fit just ove my half hat, and actually looked quite fetching. The lady wanted $40 for the hat. My people contemplated buying it for me. I told them that I was fine with the way my hat was and that $40 was a ridiculous amount to pay for a tiny hat. They actually listened to me. I am sure the search will continue (hey, they need something to do on a Saturday) but I'm game. Enjoy the pictures of the hats and mask. Remember it is not the size of the hat, but the knowledge that is contained in the head that is wearing it that matters. Ta, Ta for now!

Big hat, small head...will they ever learn?

Leigh would have LOVED this!

Who's the masked gnome....you'll never know!=)

The perfect fit, but a little fru-fru for my taste!

Scaring the Little Ones

Hello there. I was talking to Leigh about her role as a house gnome. She has never been a house gnome and there are certain things that I had to figure out the hard way. One of the first thing is that it is pretty much guaranteed that when children come over to the house, they will be frightened by you. I feel that I am a kindly-looking gnome. My cheeks are round, I'm giving a thumbs up, and I have a big smile. But apparently, I am scary to children. Even children who I think at first are interested in saying, "Hello," end up getting nervous and in some cases totally petrified by me. I told Leigh not to take it personally. I explained to her that children these days have not been exposed to gnomes. We look like little "demon" dolls to them. I've had children cry, cower, and cover their faces when they see me. I am hoping that one day, children will realize that I am a kind gnome and that I mean them no harm. Until then, I will simply continue to smile and give my thumbs up. Ta, Ta for now.

What the world needs now is love, sweet love

Hello there. Long time, no hear from me. Sorry, I have been spending time with my nook-mate Leigh. We have been getting into a rhythm and I just slacked off on my blogging duties. We were having a discussion the other day about the state of the world. Our people had on the news and everything was about wars and bombings and killing and just sadness. Leigh and I were curious how people stand these broadcasts? How can a person sit there and watch all this stuff and then go about their day like nothing is going on around them? In gnome thoughts, it is pretty much take care of your fellow gnome, no matter what factory he or she was made in. Help out your fellow gnome, no matter what store they were bought from. Look out for your fellow gnome, no matter how tall or short their hat is. Why can't humans be like that? Why do they see people as different or not worth feeling bad for because they live in a different country or because they look a little different? I wish that people could be a little more like gnomes. Sorry to get all preachy, but I started this blog to tell you what was going on in my mind. Remember, Everyday the world gets smaller and smaller and who knows, you could be in my neck of the woods, or I in yours. Ta, Ta for now!

Ghost Hunting Shows...Fact or Fiction

Hey folks! My people watch a lot of shows where people are "hunting" ghosts. I personally think that ghosts shouldn't be hunted like deer, they should be left at peace. I am tired of watching these shows and watching these people make money from roaming around and making faces every time they hear a creak or a squeak. If I was a ghost, I would so ignore these idiots. I would not come out and be like, "Here I am, come gaze at me." I would just sit there and laugh at them as they ran around commanding me to come out. I think that if I did decided to "show myself" I would do something like flush the toilet or make a flatulent sound. Just something totally unexpected. If I were to become one of these people and hunt ghosts, I would realize that remaining still and quiet would probably be a better way to get the ghosts to come on out. I mean, I was pretty much made to stay still and quiet. I would be the perfect ghost hunter because the ghosts would just assume I was part of the scenery. I know there are more important things going on in the world that I could have blogged about, but this was on my mind and bothering me. Remember, if you are small you have room to grow, but if you have grown where do you go? Ta, Ta for now.