How it all began

Have you ever been sitting on a shelf wondering what new adventures you can get into? Have you ever thought to yourself, "I am tired of life passing me by?" Has the thought, "If one more child sticks my hat into his/her mouth...," ever entered your mind? If so, then you are kind of weird, unless of course you are a gnome sitting on the shelf at K-Mart. That is where my story begins. On the morning I found my people, I had already run away from the bullfrogs (they are a surley bunch), been scolded by the flamingo for not watching where I was going, and bumped into a fly zapper. My day was not starting out so well. Then there was Peggy...she just wouldn't take no for an answer. I was almost through with the shelf and had considered hiding under a lawn mower, hoping a customer would ask for a test drive. Unlike my stone brethren, I have to be afraid of pretty much everything due to the fact I am hollow inside. Suddenly, there were two people standing in front of me. I know the routine. They talk about how much fun it would be to add some more things to their garden. They look at the stone statues and decide that they are too expensive. Then they look at the plastic items (such as the flamingo previously mentioned) and decide that they are too gaudy. Finally, they come and look at the gnomes. They talk it over and decide that we are either too creepy, too short, or too dirty looking. Then they decide to go do something else. I was waiting for this conversation, when I felt two hands around my waist. I was being picked up. The two people talked and then I was placed in a cart. Could this be my ticket out? Would I get to bask in the glorious sunshine of a spacious garden? Would there be beautiful lady gnomes? I was given a ticket out of K-Mart, but I am not a garden gnome. I am a house gnome that lives in a nook next to the video tapes that my person Jennifer refuses to throw away. My people, Keith and Jennifer, are a little strange. They don't treat me like a child (which would be demeaning,  considering I am like over 200 years old), they treat me more like a roommate. They like to take me on adventures and through the years we have had our ups and downs. This blog will be my place to fill you in on all those stories from my point of view.