The Story of the Half Hat

People often ask my people and I how it is that I came to only have half a hat. The story is quite traumatic for me, but maybe sharing it will help me to continue to heal. Many years ago, my person Jennifer had invited some friends over to hang out. My person Keith had joined the military and was away at Basic Training. Jennifer was pretty pathetic while he was gone. I got so tired of watching the Winter Olympics (I mean curling....really). It was nice to have people in the house. They were somewhat of a weird bunch, but they were fun none the same. I was enjoying my jaunt on the hearth in front of the fireplace. I like to change my view of the room every now and again. Suddenly one of the people was lying on the floor. This put him at about my eye level. I was curious why this was happening when suddenly the light became blue. A gigantic blue ball was heading at me. My tiny life flashed before my eyes. Was this the way that it was going to end? When I came to, I realized that I was still on the hearth. People were scrambling around and all I heard was, "No, not Rupert." Not Rupert what? My legs were still there, my body was in one piece, and my head hurt but it was still in one piece. Suddenly I realized that I felt a breeze where my hat should be. A gnome's hat distinguishes him or her. The taller the hat, the more respected the gnome. Now my hat was half its size. Who would ever respect me again? Would I be able to travel with my people anymore? Would they decide that I needed to be a garden gnome? Would they get rid of me? When I looked up and saw Jennifer with her head in her hands, I just wanted to let her know I was ok. Obviously, I am still around. My people took a while to realize that I could still go out, despite the fact that I am missing the top of my hat. I am glad that they have decided that I can go out again. I have gotten to the point where I think that my half hat makes me distinguished. I am the only half hatted gnome that I know. I hope that my story will help you in some way. When you have a bad day, just think...at least I am not a half hatted gnome. Ta-Ta for now.