The Trip Continues

Hello there! So when I left you, we were heading toward Murfreesboro, Tennessee. We were looking for the geographic center of Tennessee and the obelisk that marked it. On our way there, we found a winery in Arrington, TN. There was a beautiful view down the hill and it was cool to see the vineyard. After a break, we headed toward the obelisk. Now, Keith and Jennifer were pumped about this obelisk. There is this random obelisk on the way to New Orleans and they get really excited every time they see it. I know they were expecting this obelisk to be as cool as that one. When we pulled up, I heard the disappointment in Jennifer's voice. The obelisk was only about 20 feet high. They were expecting it to be like 150 feet high. This obelisk is now known as the "Disappointing Obelisk." After the disappointment, we ate some dinner and headed toward Chattanooga. We ended up stopping for the night near Jasper, TN and Jennifer and Keith immediately ran for the pool. I called Leigh. She was glad we were having a good trip, but she did miss us. After a good night's sleep, we got up and started down the road. Our first stop was in Whitwell, TN. If you have ever seen the movie, "Paper Clips," this is the city the Children's Holocaust Memorial is. If you haven't seen that movie, I would recommend it. It is a very inspirational story. I stayed in the car while Keith and Jennifer went to the memorial. This was a very emotional stop and I wanted to let them have the time to do what they needed to do. When we left Whitwell, we headed toward a house that looks like a flying saucer. I was about to get motion sickness from the curves of going up the mountain and then suddenly, there it was...it was a house shaped like a flying saucer, and people actually live there. We finally made it to Chattanooga. After going to the "Moon Pie General Store," grabbing some lunch, and finding "Muffler Man," we hit the road toward Atlanta. We had many adventures on the way to Atlanta, but those are stories for another day. Our trip was epic. I hope you are enjoying hearing about all of our adventures. Ta-Ta for now!

Getting our Moon Pie on!

Arrington Winery

Keith and I at the "Disappointing Obelisk"

Children's Holocaust Memorial- Whitwell, TN

Children's Holocaust Memorial- Whitwell, TN

A house shaped like a flying saucer

Muffler Man- He better stay away from Leigh...he looks shifty.

The Trip

Hello all,
I am so sorry that I have neglected my gnomley duties of blogging for my gnomies. I got back from my road trip and I have been telling Leigh all about it and forgot to tell you all in blog land. We had an absolutely wonderful time, but of course I missed Leigh. This was the first trip I have been on since her arrival at our home. For the next few blogs, I will break down some of the places we went on our journey. It will help to settle my mind. We have been extremely focused on the wedding plans, and I need a creative outlet to NOT talk about wedding details (although the plans are coming about smashingly). When we left on our road trip of various odd sites, I was very excited. Our first stop was at a place in Brownsville, TN. It is called "Billy Tripp's Mind Field." Pretty much this guy loves to weld. He has welded this huge array of various saying, thoughts, symbols, and imaginary thoughts/items. He has dedicated the Mind Field to his parents and he plans to be buried underneath it some day. He has the place marked where he will be buried. There is currently a bathtub in that area. This place was a little creepy. I opted to stay in the car on this one, but I did see Keith be a rebel and go behind the fence marked, "Do Not Trespass." I wonder if his mind got filled with craziness...I guess we will have to wait to find out. Once we left Brownsville, we headed toward Nashville. Well, en route my people saw a sign for this antique store. They thought, "That was a cool sign, we should find this place." We got off the exit and drove for literally 30 minutes looking for this store. We did get to see a Civil War battle field, which was cool, but they were obsessed with finding this store. Once they found it, they were only in there for about 15 minutes. My people can be wacky sometimes. Then we were back on the road to Nashville. Nashville is a crazy place to drive! There were all these , "Switch to this lane, no this lane, put your foot on your head and scratch your nose," directions. We finally (after Jennifer did a Duke's of Hazzard style cut across 3 lanes) made it to the cemetery we were looking for in Nashville. The thing we were looking for was the "Suicide Rock-Maybe." Legend has it that a man's fiancee committed suicide by diving from a rock. He had a piece of the rock shipped to Nashville for her to be buried under, hence the name "Suicide Rock," Since it is a legend, they have to include the maybe. I got a chance to stand on it. Jennifer made sure I didn't fall. I think she wanted to make sure it wasn't renamed, "The Rest of Rupert's Hat Demise Rock." We then looked around this cemetery for a little while and got back on the road to Murfreesboro, TN. For the evening, this is where my tale will have to end. It is time for Leigh and I to get settled into the book shelf. I will fill you in on more crazy tales from our trip in future blogs. I promise not to make you wait so long! Ta, ta for now.



The Mind Field



Where Billy will be buried.

Keith being a rebel in his Hawiian shirt.

The random antique store

The Suicide Rock-Maybe

On the Road Again

Hello there,
I haven't blogged in so long, you probably thought I took a long dive from a high shelf. I assure you I am quite fine. The end of the school year is always an extremely stressful time in our home. I've been trying to tend to things around the house the best I can to take some stress off of Jennifer. However, now school is out for summer and I can resume my blogging duties. So,  I heard some rumblings from the back room last night. No, it wasn't a bear hunting for food, it was Keith and Jennifer planning our summer vacation. The first thing I did was offer to let Leigh go because she hasn't traveled with our people yet. She declined my offer and said that she is a "House" gnome and not a "Traveling" gnome. I guess I am a "Combo" gnome. I am both "House" and "Travel." I have never thought of myself as a combo...weird. What fantastic destination will we be going to this time? Las Vegas, the Bahamas, New Jersey...I couldn't even imagine. Keith and Jennifer were so excited when they had finished planning, it was making me a nervous wreck. Then they told me where we are going, and my excitement TRIPLED! We are going on a strange and weird roadside attractions tour on our way to Atlanta, GA. There will be all kinds of thrilling sights along the way. They are calling it my bachelor party. How much fun is this trip going to be!?! Leigh and I have the coolest people! So, now I have to go start packing. I will have to neglect my duties again, for a little while, but look for oh so many blogs about this trip. Remember, the worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist. Ta, Ta for now and Happy Trails to you!

Trying to Get My Ducks in a Row

Hello all,
Sorry I have been neglectful of my blog duties as of late, but I have been trying to get my ducks in a row. I've always wondered where that statement comes from? Is it so important that the ducks walk in a row? What will happen if they get out of the row? Who is the leader? How do you "claim" the ducks? Wow, so sorry...I got on a bit of a tangent there. We are continuing with the wedding plans. We are currently waiting to see what Saturday Keith will have to work so that we can set the exact date. We know the place (Botanic Gardens), the dress and tux are being worked on (Did you know that there is no where to buy a gnome-sized tux...the nerve?), and the menu is set (see previous posts). I have recently been offered a "job" by Jennifer. She recently got picked to be the librarian at a school. She asked me if I would be willing to be her "library gnome." I replied fervently, "Yes," but I have no idea what a library gnome does. I'll get back with you all once I figure it out. Have you ever agreed to do something, that you have no earthly idea what you have gotten yourself into? Oh well, we will have to wait and see. Remember, laugh a little to lift your spirits a lot. (Also, if anyone can answer the ducks in a row question...that would just be thrilling!) Ta, Ta for now.

Reunited...And It Feels So Good!

Hello all,
I am currently getting settled back in next to the VeggieTales movie. That's right folks...Leigh has forgiven me for the watermelon fiasco. You haven't seen anyone hold a grudge, like a gnome lady. They get their knickers in a knot and it takes a while for them to calm down. I am so happy that we were finally able to come to an agreement. Now, the wedding planning can continue. We've decided that the reception will include watermelon (a whole one), cheeses, crackers, and some sort of punch. A tiny cake will also be made, although we gnomes are not huge cake eaters. Next, we have to start working on invitations. This ceremony is only going to have a select few in attendance. We are currently working on the guest list. I will then have to be fitted for a tux and Leigh will have to pick out her dress and all that goes with it. Who knew that planning a wedding would involve so much actual planning? Alright, I need to get back to planning. I just wanted to give you an update and let you all know that love conquered all today. Even something big as a watermelon could not stop the love between two gnomes. Ta, Ta for now.

Watermelon

Hello all,
Now that the royal wedding is over, Leigh and I are now able to focus totally on our wedding plans. If Leigh has a dress anything like Kate's, she would topple over. We have already seen what can happen when a gnome topples over...see the half-hat story as a reference. Anyway, back to the subject...the food. Leigh and I had our first argument the other day. I know you are completely and totally shocked, but we gnomes can get our dander up just like humans. We can't be jolly all the time...that's just unrealistic. We were discussing wedding plans (as those of you who are married know, it can be a stressful time). We were talking about food for the reception. Leigh believes that we should cut up an entire watermelon into pieces as one of our buffet items. I made the suggestion (being the money watcher that I am) that we only cut up 1/4 of a melon for the buffet. There is absolutely no way that we will be able to eat an ENTIRE watermelon. We are small gnomes. Then she stated that we would not be the only people at the wedding. Of course, I knew that our people would be there, but they probably wouldn't eat an entire watermelon (although Jennifer can put down some melon...I'm just saying). Leigh thought that we may have at least 3 guests, besides our people. "Well, let's cut up half a watermelon," were the words that came out of my mouth. Who knew such words would open a can of worms?!?! Suddenly, Leigh was accusing me of being too cheap to give her the wedding she had always dreamed of. She told me that ever since her days of creation at the factory, she had dreamed of having a WHOLE WATERMELON at her wedding. Who knew?!? Obviously, not me. So I was forced to move to the other end of the shelf, for a "cooling down" period. I'm still regulated to stay there. Who knew that a New Orleans made gnome could have such a temper? I am, of course, going to let her have her dream of having a whole watermelon at the reception, but can you blame a gnome for trying to save a buck in this tough economy? Hopefully I can be forgiven for my penny-pinching ways. Oh well, I have to get comfy next to the Star Wars movie for the time being...I really wish Jennifer would get rid of some of these tapes...a gnome needs some room to move, even if he is in the dog house. Ta, Ta for now.

I am a desperate gnome. Next to Star Wars is not my home!

Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?

Hello all,
Have you ever felt like you were in the middle of an EMO concert? Have you ever watched someone pace the floors, unable to sleep? Have you ever seen someone jump at every little noise? I can say, "Yes," to all of these questions tonight. Apparently, our person Keith is away getting training for his new job, (Hey, someone has to pay for our upcoming nuptials...money,money, money) and Jennifer does not do so well when he is away. You didn't have to endure the entire Winter Olympics of 2006 (that was when Keith went away for Basic Training) or the endless love songs streaming through the satellite in the fall of 2009 (when Keith went away for more military training). He has got to quit doing this to me! I can't handle the moping about that his absence causes. If I could kick that high, I would kick our person Jennifer in the tail end and tell her to buck up. She is a strong and powerful woman. She can handle staying in the house by herself. Besides, I am here to keep her and Leigh safe. I guess for the next little while I am the man of the house. As man of the house, I am going to put an end to all moping and sappy lovey-dovey music. Besides, all her moping is rubbing off on Leigh. She is all teary-eyed and melancholy as well. Something has got to give. We will get through this absence of Keith with our heads held high. Although, I have to admit...I miss having some extra testosterone in the house. A gnome can only do, what a gnome can do. Ta, Ta for now...Oh no, I forgot there was a TV in the back of the house. I guess love songs it is.

If I Had a Hammer

Hello all,
Sorry I have been away for so long. Leigh and I have been discussing wedding plans. I didn't realize that weddings take so long to plan. I am so glad I am not royalty. I've been seeing on the TV this Will and Kate wedding hoop-la. I am so glad that Leigh and I will be able to have a simple wedding. I am sitting here thawing out. Our people had their door fixed today. The guy had the door open for several hours and my nook is on the same wall as the door. What does a gnome have to do to get a little heat around here? I was watching as this guy installed the door. He was really quite good. If I had been made with a hammer in my hand, I think that I would like to do some type of carpentry/repair work. I could have made little chairs, tables, beds, etc. I would have had a lucrative business, because who wouldn't want to buy a piece of furniture from a gnome? Then maybe I could have been knighted by the queen (for she is a slight person and would probably enjoy a tiny chair, table, and bed). Oh, but there I go letting my dreams get ahead of me. I am proud to have my book and my thumb-up. Besides, Leigh says she prefers the scholarly type to the burly type. Man, I am a lucky gnome. Remember, "To do big tasks you can only take one small step at a time." Ta-Ta for now!

Out of the Rubble...A New Joy

Hello all,
I hope that you are having a fantastic day. I know that I am! After the horribly terrifying events that occurred at our people's house the other day, I felt very shaken. After posting my blog, I started thinking about what I would miss the most had my tiny life come to an end. Sure I would miss my cozy and entertaining nook. My people, who treat me as an equal, would also be missed. The one thing, however, that my mind kept coming back to was Leigh. I know that she has only been my nook-mate for a little while, but she has become family to me. We have bonded through our extensive conversations and I would have jumped in front of her, had the robbers decided to harm her in any way. So I fashioned a ring of flowers. In the gnome world, this is the equivalent of an engagement ring. That's right ladies...this gnome has taken himself off the market. I nervously waited for our people to get home this evening. When they did, I pulled out the ring of yellow flowers (to match her Saints colors) and asked her to be my bride. She said, "Yes...I thought you would never ask!" After placing the ring on her hat, we shared a short nose rub. Our people are so happy. After a toast to our future, plans started being made. I heard something about the Botanic Gardens in June. Traditionally, gnomes get married under their "tree." When a male gnome is born, a tree is planted. He then get married under his tree. I was made in a warehouse somewhere, so I have no tree. When we go to the Botanic Gardens in the next few weeks, I will locate a tree and Leigh and I will make it our own. I am so grateful that some good was able to come out of such a vile event. I am a very happy gnome. Ta, Ta for now.

Will she say, "Yes?"

She said, "Yes!"

What a beautiful soon-to-be-bride!

A toast to our future

Catching a quick nose rub.

The Silent Witness

Hello all,
I am writing to you a little shaken up right now. Today, Leigh and I were hanging out and doing our typical routine. Suddenly we heard a loud, crashing sound and we weren't sure what was happening. Apparently some guys decided that they wanted to break into our people's house. After kicking in the front door, they proceeded to run around the house, ransacking the rooms in the back. They pulled out drawers, opened closets, stole Jennifer's jewelry, and the coins out of the coin jar. They also stole a pillow case and a pillow...the pillow case I understand, but the pillow...what is the deal with that. They then came out into the living room and pulled the TV out of the nook. I think that my cold, hard stare scared them because they left the TV by the door and ran out. Leigh and I were just left helpless to do anything. When Jennifer arrived home she did her normal routine. She came in, took care of some business, and was coming out to start dinner. I wanted to scream for her to realize what had happened. When she noticed that the TV had been removed, she took off out of the house. When she returned with the police, the first thing she checked was that Leigh and I were safe. I appreciated that, although she could have taken us when she fled the house. She even showed us to the police. I could have so been a witness, but who would have listened to a gnome. Plans are being made to turn this house into a robbers worst nightmare. I am just glad that my people are safe and that Leigh and I made it through this experience. I think it is time to add that 3rd tape to my tape lifting regiment. I need to bulk up like Rambo so that I can protect the house, my people, and Leigh in case anyone decides to come in here again. My people were watching Le Miserables in concert this weekend. Something from that stuck with me. "And little people know, when little people fight we may look easy pickings, but we've got some bite. So never kick a dog because he's just a pup. We'll fight like twenty armies and we won't give up. So you'd better run for cover when the pup grows up!" Putting on my fight face. Ta, Ta for now.

The Great Search for the Hat

Hello all. I hope that you have had a great week. Leigh and I are getting along smashingly. She likes the fact that my hat is broken...she thinks it adds character. I'm not sure if it is a sense of guilt, or just something to do, but my people are obsessed with finding me a replacement hat. When we go places, they are always puting these ridiculously oversized hats on my head, and then they are amazed that they don't look right. I have a tiny head, I am a tiny gnome....these facts seem to escape them at times. We did actually find a hat that fit at Mardi Gras in New Orleans this past year. One of our stops was at the mask extravaganza that was happening in the French Market. Besides masks, there were also other things, such as hats. After them putting some masks on me, and of course a too large hat (because that is what they do) we came across a vendor who was selling tiny hats. The hats were made to be pinned on the side of a person's head. It fit just ove my half hat, and actually looked quite fetching. The lady wanted $40 for the hat. My people contemplated buying it for me. I told them that I was fine with the way my hat was and that $40 was a ridiculous amount to pay for a tiny hat. They actually listened to me. I am sure the search will continue (hey, they need something to do on a Saturday) but I'm game. Enjoy the pictures of the hats and mask. Remember it is not the size of the hat, but the knowledge that is contained in the head that is wearing it that matters. Ta, Ta for now!

Big hat, small head...will they ever learn?

Leigh would have LOVED this!

Who's the masked gnome....you'll never know!=)

The perfect fit, but a little fru-fru for my taste!

Scaring the Little Ones

Hello there. I was talking to Leigh about her role as a house gnome. She has never been a house gnome and there are certain things that I had to figure out the hard way. One of the first thing is that it is pretty much guaranteed that when children come over to the house, they will be frightened by you. I feel that I am a kindly-looking gnome. My cheeks are round, I'm giving a thumbs up, and I have a big smile. But apparently, I am scary to children. Even children who I think at first are interested in saying, "Hello," end up getting nervous and in some cases totally petrified by me. I told Leigh not to take it personally. I explained to her that children these days have not been exposed to gnomes. We look like little "demon" dolls to them. I've had children cry, cower, and cover their faces when they see me. I am hoping that one day, children will realize that I am a kind gnome and that I mean them no harm. Until then, I will simply continue to smile and give my thumbs up. Ta, Ta for now.

What the world needs now is love, sweet love

Hello there. Long time, no hear from me. Sorry, I have been spending time with my nook-mate Leigh. We have been getting into a rhythm and I just slacked off on my blogging duties. We were having a discussion the other day about the state of the world. Our people had on the news and everything was about wars and bombings and killing and just sadness. Leigh and I were curious how people stand these broadcasts? How can a person sit there and watch all this stuff and then go about their day like nothing is going on around them? In gnome thoughts, it is pretty much take care of your fellow gnome, no matter what factory he or she was made in. Help out your fellow gnome, no matter what store they were bought from. Look out for your fellow gnome, no matter how tall or short their hat is. Why can't humans be like that? Why do they see people as different or not worth feeling bad for because they live in a different country or because they look a little different? I wish that people could be a little more like gnomes. Sorry to get all preachy, but I started this blog to tell you what was going on in my mind. Remember, Everyday the world gets smaller and smaller and who knows, you could be in my neck of the woods, or I in yours. Ta, Ta for now!

Ghost Hunting Shows...Fact or Fiction

Hey folks! My people watch a lot of shows where people are "hunting" ghosts. I personally think that ghosts shouldn't be hunted like deer, they should be left at peace. I am tired of watching these shows and watching these people make money from roaming around and making faces every time they hear a creak or a squeak. If I was a ghost, I would so ignore these idiots. I would not come out and be like, "Here I am, come gaze at me." I would just sit there and laugh at them as they ran around commanding me to come out. I think that if I did decided to "show myself" I would do something like flush the toilet or make a flatulent sound. Just something totally unexpected. If I were to become one of these people and hunt ghosts, I would realize that remaining still and quiet would probably be a better way to get the ghosts to come on out. I mean, I was pretty much made to stay still and quiet. I would be the perfect ghost hunter because the ghosts would just assume I was part of the scenery. I know there are more important things going on in the world that I could have blogged about, but this was on my mind and bothering me. Remember, if you are small you have room to grow, but if you have grown where do you go? Ta, Ta for now.

Where the Gnomes Are

Obviously my blog has done some good. My people read it and they have heard my plea for a nook mate. Leigh DeFleur showed up in my nook this afternoon. According to my people, cousin Melissa saw Leigh and thought she would be the perfect nook mate for me. (Great taste, cousin Melissa!!) We hit it off immediately. She loves her hometown of New Orleans, but is excited about her new digs in the nook. We talked about my recent trip to Mardi Gras...which you will hear about in an upcoming blog. She is all about the Saints (which my people are excited about). She comes armed with a watering can and a football. She can throw around her football while I read my books. I give her a thumbs up. This must have been why my people have been acting so weird (weirder than usual) lately. I am so happy! I'm going back to hang with my nook mate. Remember, count your blessings, never overlooking the small ones, for a lot of small ones add up to a bigger one. Ta, Ta for now!

Realizing your "Shortcomings"

Hello all. So yesterday morning, I had just made it to the nook when my people came from the bedroom. They never get up that early on a Saturday. They were scrambling around like that scene from that Home Alone movie. Things were getting grabbed up, breakfast was being eaten, and they kept saying they were late. Suddenly, Keith grabbed me and put me in my oh so stylish carrying case. Where were we going. I found out soon enough. My people were volunteering at a 5K race. We were handing water to racers as they ran past our station. #1, it was cold. #2 it was raining on and off. #3...did I mention how early we left the house? I thought I could "lend a hand." Then I realized that I am too short to hand out water, I would have gotten trampled. Then I realized that I couldn't hand the water to the people handing out the water because I am holding my book. I was feeling very unhelpful, when suddenly I realized I could guard the water. Yes, I might be short, but I was the perfect height to keep the cups safe. I was able to turn my "shortcomings" into usefulness. If you are dealing with something that you feel too small to handle, think about a gnome guarding cups of water. Ta,Ta for now.

The Importance of Health

I know I missed a couple of days on the blog. What can I say, my people didn't do their job and carry me to the computer room. They can be so lazy sometimes. So, I decided to take it upon myself to come to the computer room and work on my blog. While they slept last night, I climbed down and headed down the hall and now here I am. I was able to do this because I know the importance of health. Everyday I lift two video tapes. I do 3 reps of 20. I'm about to add a 3rd tape. I do squats while I hum a gnomish tune. I then do step aerobics on the video tape (see, I'm pretty resourceful....I use what is in my nook). I've also found that it is important to tan. When Jennifer goes, she sometimes lets me go with her. It helps to keep me in my chipper mood. It reminds me of my time in the kiln when they were getting ready to send me to K-mart. It was so warm in there, although I did get a little burned. Well, I just heard movement from the bedroom. They may be getting up soon. Time for my trek back to the nook. They are going to be so surprised when they see this. Just a thought...Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. Ta, Ta for now.

I wanna know what love is...

Hey there my gnomies. I am sitting in my nook thinking how lonely being a house gnome can be. Sure, it's fun when your people take you traveling or include you in their everyday lives, but what about when they are at work? What am I supposed to do? I can't really come down from the nook and turn on the TV and the walk to the back of the house to get to the computer would take me the whole day. I kind of want a female gnome to keep me company. I so wanna know what love is. I know that is some corny love song that I heard on the Love Songs channel that Jennifer constantly blares (remember how loud she is), but it is the way I have been feeling. Keith and Jennifer have been acting even weirder than usual. They have been talking in hushed tones around me and they are smiling a lot. It would be so great to have a nook-mate, but I am sure they are just trying to surprise me with another trip. Oh well, I will just have to wait and see. Remember, "Life is made up of moments, small pieces of mica in a long stretch of glittering gray cement." Ta, Ta for now.

Turn Out the Light!

I have decided that I don't like it when my person Jennifer goes to school. I am sitting here, enjoying a proper snooze and into the living room she stumbles. Did I mention it is 5:00 in the morning? She doesn't come in and quietly eat her breakfast. No, she flips on this bright light and turns on the TV. She then clangs around in the kitchen getting breakfast together. She finally comes and sits and eats breakfast and watches the morning news. Is it a requirement that all this noise and light be present to get ready for school? Last week was Spring Break and she stumbled out at 7:00 in the morning. That is a much more appropriate light turning on time. Maybe I can petition for a sleeping mask and ear plugs so that I can get my proper amount of gnomey sleep...it's what gives us our gnomish glow. Remember, its not always a great idea to have the same routine all the time, it is good to shake things up sometimes...it might give your gnome some much needed rest. Ta, Ta for now!

Who do you think is doing the typing?

I have decided that I can read minds! I know what you are thinking. You are saying to yourself, "Rupert, how are you posting a blog? You are constantly giving a thumbs-up, and you are always holding books." To this I say, see the proof below. I am able to convey my thoughts and through "gnomish magic" it appears on here. That is the only way to describe it. So next time you are feeling like something is too tough, too much to conquer, or just not worth it...think there is a gnome out there using gnomish magic to post a blog. Hopefully this will brighten your day. Ta-Ta for now!